Cultivating Agency

My first brush with this agency came in college, when I got into my head that I absolutely had to do an undergrad research thesis. One tiny snag: I had precisely zero connections and was clueless about where to begin. So, I did what any desperate(ahem, I mean enthusiastic) student would do – I spammed professors whose research I looked up to with cold emails, pitching myself as a research assistant.

Unsurprisingly, most of those emails vanished into the digital void. But somehow, one professor at the National University of Sinapore decided to roll the dice on me. Before I could say, “imposter syndrome”, I found myself on a plane to Singapore, equal parts terrified and exhilarated. And while the research itself was cool, it was the meta-lesson that really stuck: I had the power to conjure my own opportunities, even when the path forward was about as clear as mud.

That realization ignited something in me – a sort of scrappy resourcefulness, a sense that I could MacGyver my way thruogh anything. It’s the same force that later catapulted me into my first startup gig in San Francisco. Agency, for the uninitiated, is our ability to shape our lives through our choices and actions. It’s the unshakeable belief that we have the power to influence our circumstances and manifest the outcomes we want. People with god-tier agency don’t let external forces define them - they take ownership of their lives and proactively work to steer their ships, even if they have to craft a rudder out of chewing gum and paperclips. It’s about having an accurate map of your inner world and the external world, so you can navigate effectively in situations where they overlap in generative ways.

But this flavor of radical responsibility isn’t for the faint of heart. It means catching ourselves when we slip into the alluring quicksand of victim mode, blaming external factors for our struggles. Feeling stuck in your career? Skill issue - level up your abilities or find a better fit. Floundering in your relationships? Skill issue - work on your emotional intelligence and communication. Battling the dynamic duo of anxiety and self-doubt? Definitely a skill issue - learn and develop tools for managing your mental health.

Alright, let’s talk about the skill-issue meme. You know, the one that’s plastered all over the internet, usually accompanied by a git gud scrub or some other equally eloquent retort. But here’s the thing: what if we stopped treating it as a mere meme and started taking it seriously? The vast majority of subject matter is learnable, even the stuff that seems stupidly complex. Honestly you could probably teach yourself quantum physics with enough grit and YouTube (not that I’m trying, just saying). But the key realization is that a lot of the traits people write off as immutable are actually malleable. You just have to 1) believe you can shape them and 2) grind like you would to git gud at anything else.

Now, this isn’t to say our circumstances are always our fault. But zeroing in on what we can control is infinitely more empowering than marinating in the muck of victimhood. As the saying goes, you can’t control the wind, but you can adjust your sails (cliché, I know). And people with robust agency tend to be master sailors. They possess an almost delusional sense of self-efficacy, believing so deeply in their ability to achieve their goals that they bend reality to their will, often in the face of staggering odds.

Just look at Ernest Shackleton, the ultimate agency gigachad; the Antarctic explorer who kept his entire crew alive after their ship sank in 1915. Stranded in one of the most inhospitable environments on Earth, Shackleton never wavered in his conviction that he would lead every last man to safety. And through sheer force of will and agency, he did just that. Most of us will never face such extreme circumstances, but we all encounter challenges on the regular. Cultivating extreme ownership in the face of adversity is the key to a life well-lived.

So how do we level up our agency? First, we gotta take full responsibility for our choices and outcomes. Something didn’t go your way? Resist the urge to rage quit and flip off the universe - instead, focus on what you can learn and improve for next time. This builds self-efficacy as you start to connect the dots between your efforts and their impact.

Curating your influences is also crucial. Beliefs and attitudes have mad mimetic power, so it’s important to choose people and media that turbo-charge your sense of agency. This might mean setting boundaries with people who make you feel depleted, have a cynical outlook towards the world, etc. and actively seeking out role models of strong agency, and consuming content that empowers rather than victimizes.

But perhaps the most important thing is practicing agency daily, starting with the micro-decisions. Make choices, even when you’re not 100% sure. Speak up for yourself and your ideas. Set goals and take messy action, even if you don’t feel ready. The more reps you get flexing your agency muscle, the stronger it becomes.

So while some may be born with a slight agency head start, I strongly believe that it’s a trainable skill. It’s not some innate trait bestowed upon you by the capricious gods - it’s more like an epic armor set you can forge over time. And in a world hellbent on putting you in a box, developing unshakeable permissionless agency is the ultimate power play.

There will always be plot twists and challenges beyond our control, people with unfair head starts and lucky breaks. But with a deep sense of agency, you’re never truly powerless. You can architect your own games to play and dragons to slay, even when life feels more like a dud than the hero’s journey you had in mind.

And when in doubt, remember the words of Steve Jobs: “Everything around you that you call life was made up by people that were no smarter than you.” The world is more malleable than it might seem — and you don’t need anyone’s permission to shape it. Muster the courage to move as an unstoppable force, and I’d be willing to bet the universe might just start conspiring in your favor. Who knows? You might be astonished by how much say you have in what happens next.